A friend of mine recently commented that pondering Calvinism for too long tended to kill his 'spirit' and for him that was not good. I agree anything that kills our love for Jesus is certainly not good, but I find that the more I read the Bible the more I’m compelled to be uncomfortable with the truths that it reveals about God, Jesus, mans rebellious heart, the gospel and the tensions that remain in His truth…
Jesus is in control of everything… and I’m still responsible for my actions.
Jesus is the author and perfecter of my faith… but I’m still responsible to exercise that faith in relationship with Him.
Jesus does not desires that anyone be lost… but there will be people who don’t go to heaven but will end up in Hell.
Jesus' Spirit is the only power for life change… but I must walk in step with it.
Jesus' Spirit gives me life, hope and peace... but my sin nature wars against it continually.
etc…
Bottom line : I think it is okay to be ‘uncomfortable’ with the truth of God, to be able to say I don’t get it all is a good thing when it comes to God, He is God after all. Following Jesus means being willing to accept tension in my life. I’m glad to be able to admit I’m happy it’s not all about me and that I’m still discovering and rediscovering it’s really all about Jesus.
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