Following Jesus must happen in the context of relationships. This is the way God has decided things will be. You just can't be a mature growing Christian outside of real gospel centered relationships (Ephesians 4).
Who are you engaging with around the truth of Jesus? Who is allowed to speak into your life the gospel? Is there anyone who really knows you? Our ability to engage with others as we follow Jesus will determine our growth and maturity in Him. It's just the way our Leader rolls.